


All Your Little Things

by robertstanion



Series: PEIPHQ Shenanigans [15]
Category: Black Friday - Team StarKid
Genre: Fluff, Insecurities, M/M, Songfic, Tooth Rotting Fluff, Wedding fic!!, songs listed in the notes, xander wears makeup send tweet
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-07-23
Updated: 2020-07-23
Packaged: 2021-03-04 22:08:13
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,509
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/25473646
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/robertstanion/pseuds/robertstanion
Summary: It's John and Xander's wedding day, and they can't help but reminisce over the special moments they've spent together in the past few years.
Relationships: Xander Lee/John McNamara
Series: PEIPHQ Shenanigans [15]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/1764349
Comments: 4
Kudos: 7





	All Your Little Things

**Author's Note:**

> This is a very special songfic beCAUSE this fic was posted on the 23rd July 2020, which, for uncultured human beings, is One Direction's 10 year anniversary. Now, mini rant, but I never got a chance to be a part of the 1D fandom 10 years ago with the knowledge I was literally 5 years old when they started releasing music, but man, they changed my life. For people who have read the entirety of the PEIPHQ Shenanigans series, you may also have taken note how the very first book I wrote was Sign Of The Times, which, of course, is a song written by Harry Styles. I couldn't just sit here today and do nothing on such a special day. 
> 
> Songs (yes songs there were gonna be three but I decided against it, that's a whole separate fic) featured:   
> No Control - One Direction  
> Little Things - One Direction 
> 
> Trigger warnings: mild mentions of weight loss but that is it.

Xander stirred awake early in the morning, the sun barely peeking through the curtains. Stained coffee cups remained on the bedside tables where they’d been left. He stretched and turned to face his fiancé, and his heart fluttered wildly. He was still asleep, and he lay still, nearly motionless, if it wasn’t for John gripping the pillowcase tightly. He seemed so innocent then and there, near enough to naïve. Xander knew his fiancé was nowhere of the such. John wasn’t naïve. He couldn’t detect sarcasm too well, but dare you lie to his face and you suffer his wrath. He was like a dog being held back by chains whenever he got fired up, and Xander loved that about him.

Right now, John was sleeping, and Xander would treasure the moment for a short while before he woke. He snapped a picture on his phone quickly before he put the device down, turning on to his side and grinning wide. Waking up beside John every day sparked something inside of Xander. He never used to want to wake up, he never felt that spark, but as he woke up beside him, he felt like a loaded gun, wanting to scream about his determination to protect John as well as his love for him. He could hardly contain it sometimes and would often shout about it into a pillow after a long day’s work. The best thing about it was that Xander had given himself up, willingly allowing himself to become John’s, but the counter argument was that he had no control over his feelings at all.

He was often powerless against his own feelings, but he didn’t care. He _wanted_ it to be obvious that he was engaged, that he couldn’t get enough of his fiancé, and that he never would. Sometimes they would try to speed things up between them, and to do that, it often meant they’d speed home, more times than not they’d go over the limit, but it was worth it when he turned to his right to see John laughing, his eyes closed, and he realised, maybe it was better if neither had any control on their relationship and they let it run just as free and wild as they were.

He watched as John slowly stirred, his face crumpling as he suppressed a yawn, and Xander immediately turned his back, reaching for the water bottle he kept on his bedside table, taking a swig, hearing John yawn from beside him. He couldn’t help but smile as the memory of the night before flooded back to him. He swallowed the water and set the bottle back down before he faced John. “Good morning, husband to be.”

“What’s the time?” John grumbled as he rubbed his eyes, looking at Xander, who checked his watch.

“It’s…5:23.”

“Shit!” John declared, immediately getting out of bed, picking up his hairbrush, going straight over to the mirror.

“What’s wrong?” Xander asked, propping himself up on his elbows as he watched his now semi-distressed husband brush his hair as frantically as possible.

“I said I’d be awake at 5! I slept through my alarm, oh fucking shit,” John said, continuing to brush the knots out of his hair.

Xander couldn’t help but let his worry fade as he got out of bed, wrapping his arms around John’s waist once he was in hugging distance. “You’re _warm_ , dear. And the wedding isn’t until nine. Come on, we’ve got a few hours. We only need to put a suit on.”

“Well, yeah, but-“

“And if you get up at eight and head out, you’ll be at Schaffer’s by 8:14. You’ll get ready there and still have two hours to ensure everything runs smoothly. Now _come back to bed,_ ” Xander said, burying his face in the current fluff that was John’s hair.

John put the hairbrush down on the dresser harder than he probably should have, but a tired John combined with a stressed John was not a good mix. He wiggled out of Xander’s arms, muttering incoherent nonsense as he got back into bed, pulling the covers over his head.

Xander rolled his eyes and followed his future husband for that day into bed, moving close to him. “Do you need a cuddle?”

“Don’t touch me. If you do, I will want to stay here in bed all day. That can not be the case for today,” John said, voice rough from just waking up. He shrunk further back into the covers, and Xander chuckled, kissing the area where John’s head should be.

“I’ll go and make you a coffee, sweetheart,” he said, getting out of bed. With no noise of protest from John, he slipped outside, closing their bedroom door, exhaling happily. He got to _marry_ that man today, legally. This was where his family would be set in stone, and he couldn’t be more excited.

They spent the next few hours together, and Xander seemed to lose sense of everything. He lost his jokey attitude and became more affectionate, quieter. He wasn’t as defensive, and more or less defence _less,_ when it came to John. Just before John set off to go to get ready at Schaffer’s, they shared a final hug before he set off, and Xander could only let himself drown in John’s cologne, which was sweet, but simultaneously sour, but it was _John,_ and Xander loved it. When they let go, they shared a final kiss, and Xander wished him a safe drive before closing the door and flopping on to the couch. He had a few extra hours, and he could only lie there and wait for time to pass.

  
Time passed slower than Xander had hoped, but that was what he got for attempting to wait for the anticipation to fade. Still, he pulled on his suit when it was time, playing his and John’s shared playlist as he did. He read over all the little notes that John had left him leading up to that day, and he found the most touching one in his eyeshadow palette he’d been planning to use for their wedding.

_Concerning Xander James soon to be Lee-McNamara, you will find attached your work timetable for the next four weeks in the bottom drawer with the rest of your files. I have booked us off the next four weeks, by the way. If we’re going to have a honeymoon, we’re going to honeymoon in style, meaning an entire month away from PEIP. Maybe it’ll stress us both out, but you’ll be my husband by then, and it’s highly unlikely._

_Concerning Xander James Lee-McNamara, I can’t believe you chose to wear golden eyeshadow with your suit for the day. I knew you were hiding something, but I think it’s adorable you were hiding this. I won’t tease you about it, but I may end up staring at your beauty all day._

_Concerning Xander James Lee-McNamara, I hope you got a good enough sleep last night. I know you struggled to go to sleep. I could hear your breathing, dear, and you thought I was sleeping. Honey, I was not sleeping, and I did hear you having a panic attack. You should have woken me. Your anxiety doesn’t make you weak. Getting married is scary, I never wanted to until I saw you, but I promise you our wedding will permanently bond us together. I don’t want to leave you. I won’t leave you._

_Concerning Xander James Lee-McNamara, I wrote this at 3:56 in the AM after a lot of thinking. I want you to know that, no matter how badly tomorrow goes, I’m staying by your side. I love you, and I can’t wait to be your husband._

_Sincerely, John McNamara-Lee._

Xander laughed tearfully at John’s note, wiping the tears away as he read the note, continuously skimming over it. He’d be a mess by the time he got down the aisle. He couldn’t help but laugh at his fiancé’s sheer stupidity. It didn’t appear either of them got any sleep last night, but it would all turn up okay when they had that dumb metal band on their hands. He knew John was the one, and when John was away, he was only half a heart, half of himself. He’d promised he wouldn’t fall for his general all those years ago, and now they were getting married. It was ironic, but he wouldn’t have it any other way.

And it had all started with a rant about racism.

* * *

“Now, everybody, let’s give it up for the newlyweds, our very own General McNamara and our delightful Lieutenant Lee!”

“Lee-McNamara!” John shouted over the cheers that had erupted. He held up his glass though, just like everyone else, his eyes twinkling with that familiar bright light that had guided Xander so many times before in the darkest of times. As the noise in the room, the chatter and the buzz, drowned everything else out, John looked over at Xander and caught his eye, and John laughed, throwing his arms around his husband’s shoulders, hugging him tightly. Xander shut his eyes and hugged him back, patting John’s shoulder as he kissed John’s hair. “I love you so much, Xander,” John whispered, and only Xander heard.

“I love you too, John,” Xander added as they pulled away. High on the thrill of their wedding, they couldn’t be parted, and they wouldn’t be parted. They both grabbed each other’s hands tightly, and the spark Xander had felt from day one was still there, just twice as strong and affected by the metal ring he wore.

John’s hand seemed to fit in Xander’s like it was made just for him. Xander had never believed in soulmates, not for a long period of his life, but John changed that. They were meant to be. He couldn’t take his eyes off of his husband as he talked to guests, congratulating them both, but Xander was lost in his thoughts. Physically, he appeared in a daze, but mentally, he was joining up the dots that were the faint freckles that scattered John’s cheeks. It all started to make sense to him. They were destined for each other.

To Xander Lee-McNamara, John was the prettiest person on Earth, and nothing could change that. Yes, John had never liked to see the photos he’d taken when John was in the middle of a laughing fit because he hated how his eyes crinkled up so tight. And yes, John _was_ self-conscious and usually spent any remaining free time he had at the gym because he was convinced his stomach was too large, or his thighs weren’t as muscular as the rest of his body, making him disproportionate. And, yes, again, John hadn’t loved any crinkles that appeared on his body, including the dimples that appeared when he smiled, but Xander loved them endlessly, and he’d reminded John of it countless times. John was perfect, even though he was self-conscious, but Xander didn’t mind.

But he’d sworn on himself to never admit how much he loved the little things about John just as he loved the much larger things. He wouldn’t let himself slip up, he’d fight to hold them back, but he knew, if there was a time he did end up going on some sappy rant, that it would be _to_ John _about_ John, and it didn’t matter to Xander when he thought of it like that, because he was in love with the smaller puzzle pieces that built up John too.

Xander snapped out of his trance to talk to the guest who had moved on to congratulate him, giving John a chance to gaze at his husband lovingly. He thought back since the start of their relationship, when they became comfortable with each other, and Xander’s quirks began to show.

Sometimes, he’d swear upon going to sleep early, and John would read a book or two beside him, taking a note of every time Xander tossed and turned. Eventually, Xander would get frustrated and get out of bed, going downstairs, coming back up a few minutes later with a cup of tea. Xander would glare about him as he drank the thing all in on, taking one sip of water, and somehow he’d manage to go to sleep with ease. Maybe it was the reason Xander talked in his sleep on bad nights. If John was awake, sometimes they’d have meaningless conversations, many consisting of conspiracy theories. Those conversations were something John treasured, and were secrets he kept, even though it made no sense to him.

But Xander needed comforting sometimes too. If Xander had to do a report on something, which included recording himself, and he had to play it back, he would get extremely anxious about how his voice sounded, and would go to film it again, but John was usually able to convince him that it was good enough. There were also the times where Xander would overwork himself to the point he forgot to eat, and he’d lose weight, and therefore go down a size in jeans. When he put that weight back on, which John made sure he did, Xander _did_ become very nervous about having to go a size up, but it would result in cuddles where John hugged Xander’s waist tightly, pressing his face into Xander’s back, singing one of Xander’s favourite songs to ensure that he felt better.

But those things were things John kept to himself. He wasn’t a very romantic person, and with these new feelings, he struggled to put them into words. But if he could put them into words, then he wouldn’t mind letting them slip to Xander. It was true, what he thought, because it was Xander, and they all added up to the fact that he was head over heels for that man, and all of his quirks.

He squeezed Xander’s hand as the guest walked away, leaving them swarmed by the sudden bustle again, and he was shocked when Xander started speaking.

“You know, John, you’ll never love yourself half as much as I love you, and that sucks because you are beautiful, and I wish you would see that.”

“And _you’ll_ never treat yourself as well as I want you to, darling, but I want you to be able to know that you try your hardest and it’s enough.” John followed his sentence up by moving closer to Xander. “I’m here for you to talk to, you don’t seem to realise that half of the time.”

“Yeah, but if I let you know, then I have to disrupt our work and-“

“Xander, it’s okay,” John used his other hand to cup Xander’s cheek. Xander sighed.

“I’m here for you too.”

“And hey, maybe now we’re married, you’ll begin to love yourself like I love you,” John smiled and leaned in again, feeling Xander hold him as he was kissed back. When they pulled away, the smiles didn’t fade. “I love you, Xander Lee-McNamara.”

“And I love _you,_ John McNamara-Lee.”

**Author's Note:**

> xander be like oMg i'm So QUIrKy HAhahahahahahAhahahAHAH anyway
> 
> as always, comment if you are going to be respectful and kudos are appreciated!!
> 
> also, if you're curious, the lyrics for No Control are embedded in section 1, and Little Things lyrics are in section 2, thankyou and gOODNIGHT (it is 22:51, somebody stop me)


End file.
